My Body - My Bloodline - My Becoming
With every day and every healing experience, I am realizing how deeply connected we are to our ancestors, and how their patterns can live within our physical bodies, expressing themselves through sensation, emotion, and experience. It has now been days since the pain that had been lodged in my left shoulder—radiating into my neck and right hip—completely lifted. The pain had been deep and persistent. I had even considered calling a neurologist for a referral I had been holding onto for six months, yet I felt a clear message from my ancestors: “Not yet.” Throughout my healing journey, I have learned to listen to my body by listening to my bloodline, honoring those who guide me in this life and witnessing what unfolds when I trust that guidance. The morning I had a spinal energetics appointment, I woke unable to move my shoulder or neck without stiffness and pain. I rolled the area with a ball and thought, “Today is spinal energetics—I wonder what today will bring.”
What unfolded was unlike anything I had ever experienced before, and I will do my best to put it into words, though language rarely captures what energy truly manifests. During my session, I felt grounded, supported, and safe. My spirit guides and ancestors were welcomed into the space, not only for my healing but for the healing of those who came before me. I have been gifted with the ability to move easily into the in-between, and my mind was taken to a place where I was meant to see, learn, and remember what was needed in this present time. As soon as I entered that state, I immediately felt the stuck energy in my left shoulder and right hip—another burning pain that had been present for weeks. My guides made it clear that this pain existed because there was something I needed to express to the universe, and that I would know when the time was right.
As my healer worked somatically through spinal energetics, I felt an immediate surge into my left shoulder that radiated into my neck and chest. It felt as if someone were pressing a hand over my throat, stifling the air and trying to keep me from speaking my voice and my truth. I knew this energy was not mine, but rather connected to a past event of brutal sexual trauma. I was feeling what had been passed down, and I was told it was not mine to carry and that it was time to release what did not belong to me. I let out the loudest yell, and the moment I did, my entire body began to tingle—from the crown of my head down through my neck and shoulders into my forearms, stopping just before my hands, where I normally feel energy release when I facilitate healing for others. The sensation also flowed down into my heart chakra and stopped at the beginning of my solar plexus. I had recently been studying the solar plexus and how, when it is unbalanced and anger is held, the heart cannot fully open into true love for oneself or compassion for self and others. In that moment, I understood this was a balancing of the ancestral lineage of women I was working with during the session. I could feel a lineage of sexual abuse and trauma passing through time—through both Native American women and Celtic witches.
After this release, another vision and sensation emerged: I experienced being hanged for being a woman and a healer. Once again, I felt tightness in my neck and reached upward as if grasping for a rope, trying to pull myself up. I was not alone. My healer supported the release, and my guides were present—especially my twin flame and women of the past. I was told that so many women before me had been unable to speak their healing and truth, and if they did, they faced severe consequences such as rape, abuse, and death. I was shown that it was time to let all of that go and to speak the voice my ancestors and past lives were unable to. I was reminded that my purpose in this life is to help guide women to find their voice and to ground themselves with Mother Earth, who always supports and guides us, for we have all walked her lands in different times.
This life is a gift, and Mother Earth holds all the answers, but the key is stepping away from the noise and reflecting within. We cannot change anyone but ourselves. We can take control of our lives, our healing, and breaking our lineage patterns by beginning with ourselves. No one knows our life experiences more intimately than Spirit. Our ancestors are here to guide us, working with the Earth so we can feel them, know we are not alone, and remember that we are deeply loved. This is no longer a time to carry past patterns, but a time to release them with honor and love—honor for those who came before us and were not able to speak freely without severe consequences, and love for ourselves and all beings. Love is the universal language, and compassion is born from love. Love itself comes from all those who came before us and from Pachamama, who continues to heal each time humanity harms her, yet still supports and loves us, patiently waiting for us to return and embrace all she provides.
To embody this love, anger and hurt must be acknowledged and addressed. It is not a way to live when we suppress them, because the body keeps the score and physically carries the burdens we place upon it. No one is to blame. When something triggers anger or ego, it is a mirror reflecting what within us needs healing—whether it is an ancestral pattern or simply the noise of the world that so easily consumes. I was guided to understand that we all have our own sacred roles in this life, and that telling another who they should be is not healing but harmful; it reflects imbalance within. That day, I released ancestral patterns I had been holding in my body—energies from my bloodline that were meant to show me who I am becoming. And that becoming, that sacred role, is to release what no longer serves me so that I may be free of burdens that were never mine to carry. In doing so, I heal my bloodline and balance my cauldrons—the Celtic shamanic understanding of energy centers, rather than the seven chakras. When I am balanced, I am able to help others become balanced as well.
My role is to love all, to have compassion for all, to help those seeking refuge, and to be a supported space for those who are exhausted, as I once was, and ready to heal. My heart is full. This is the beginning of a lineage that will be left for those to come—one that breaks patterns and brings love for all beings and for Mother Earth. With gratitude, and with much love and magic.
