Who Are You Really?

Today I have done something I haven’t ever done before. I took the day off. I cleared my schedule of all things other than what was needed, such as dropping off and picking up children from school. Other than that, today’s schedule has been swiped clean as if swiping clean the 1990’s Magna Doodle. No classes to attend, no appointments, nothing. I sat in meditation last night before bed, conversing with my Spirit Guide/higher self expressing the desire to learn more, and to regain my health back, as perimenopause is kicking my ass. I was tired of feeling like shit, but was still overexerting myself in trying to help others, and to launch this beautiful business I have so longed to begin.

This morning upon waking at 5 am, without the alarm clock, I felt the need to be. Just be. Be present with the stillness of the house and the sun shining though the large windows into my room, while the birds sing their happy tune welcoming the day of sun after all the days of rain. I turned on some quiet mediation music, lit a candle and sat in my mediation area on my rug, bringing my energy back within and focusing on my breath. “What is it I wanted?” “Who am I really?” These are the thoughts that came to my mind. “How am I to get to be the person my soul desires to be in this life?” “Who is it that matters to me most?” “Are they effecting who I want to be?” After all no one truly knows who we are, except ourselves. We may think we really know someone, but in reality, we really do not. We cannot know what another think, desire, or yearn for in this life. So the question reflected back upon myself was, “Who are you Really?”

Putting aside all the worldly answers to this question, titles that you hold, positions you fill. Reach down deep and really tap into your soul, what is it that makes you, you? What truly makes you happy? How do you think? How do you act? Are they the ways that others expect of you? Do you find your worth in what others think of you?

As I ended my mediation to get my children up for school, and ready for the day, I kept these questions and thoughts in my mind and heart, to return to later. After morning school routines complete and the house once again still and quiet, I returned to my thoughts of just a few hours prior. I went back to the oracle card that was drawn this morning from my “Sacred Traveler” oracle deck by Denise Linn. The card was “Finding Sanctuary - Opening to your Spiritual Source.” Not only was this aligned with what my soul was inquiring but also a reminder that it is ok to take the time for yourself. It is imperative as a woman to set aside all that is on your to do list, and make yourself number one, on your list. Finding a sanctuary not only within a physical space away from the worldly distractions, but also a sanctuary within ourselves. A place within our soul, or heart space to find peace, refuge and a sanctuary.

Continuing on my pondering, I was lead to pull up my birth chart on my astrology app. This is where it all hit home for me. Neptune is in my 6th house. I am a psychic sponge and absorb the energies in my surroundings. I feel so many energies from people, nature, electronics (which is probably why I suck at technology and literally screw up anything I touch dealing with technology, so thank you to my web designer and those who have helped me in this journey). Being an empath, and sensitive to energies, it affects my body both physically and mentally. I can get sick if I don’t learn to take care of my own energies and protect them. I also do not respond traditionally to western medicine, but do so with herbal, holistic medicine or Eastern Medicine. This was something that I felt at a very young age, but was told that holistic doesn’t work and that it’s not safe. Which to me, made no sense as Western medicine evolved from herbs and then replaced by synthetic chemicals that were man made. How is man smarter than Mother Earth that created life? Now thirty some odd years later, I realize my souls’ knowledge was correct. And studies are showing that herbs are in fact medicine. Plants are powerful and sacred.

What is my point in today’s mediation and inquires? That you know who you are. You have always known who you are. No one else knows you, like you know yourself. Your soul is yours, not anyone else’s. Why allow another to tell you who you are, what to believe, and how to feel? Why give your divine feminine empowerment to another? Tap into how you feel physically, mentally, and emotionally. Is there something that you can change that will impact your physical well being? Today I chose to take the day for myself, to regenerate my energy so that I can help others to feel, love, and learn who they really are. I cannot tell someone what to do, or who they are, but I can be a guide to help find one’s true self in their soul journey. The best place to start, is to look within. The soul is a beautiful sacred energy that has so much to learn, offer and receive. And a great way to find out “Who you really Are” is with grace and love for yourself. And of course a little bit of Magic.